Family of choice

Today, a very close friend, flew in for a week long visit. She recently moved away, with her baby, to Chicago. Thanks to the recession, she lost her job, and had to move back in with her parents. It tore me apart when she moved away, because she is literally like my sister. After my spinal cord surgery, and birth of my daughter, she was always there for me. Whether it was taking me back and forth to physical therapy, babysitting for me when I was exhausted, or being my legs when I needed some help around the house- she was there. I never felt apologetic or guilty for asking her for help, and she feels the same about me. Hence, when she needed a place to stay while she sorted out some personal business in town, she knew she could call me.

When I first became disabled, I watched my friendships change, many of them dramatically. I found out people I always thought would always be there for me, disappeared. I found myself extremely hurt, and the whole experience shook my faith in my ability to pick trustworthy friends. However, some people I became closer to, unexpectedly, and this lady was one of them.

It has been a few days since she has arrived, and it has been wonderful getting to talk about everything under the sun. I abhor the telephone, and I can never seem to say everything I want in an email. Sometimes, you just need that face to face contact. I love getting to bury my face in her 5 month old son's neck, and cuddle him. My daughter enjoys making him giggle, and helping out with his needs, but she becomes jealous if I show him too much attention. I've enjoyed planning meals, and cooking, for my friend actually enjoys what I prepare to eat (and is not as picky as my husband and daughter!). I am tired, because I am overexerting myself, but I can not help it. I like making sure someone is comfortable in my home, and for once- she needs me.

I have always believed in the concept of having a family of choice. I did not come from a close-knit family, and I am often misunderstood by those I am related to. I know I am loved, but if I had to rely solely on them for emotional support, I would be very lonely indeed. We are just very different- and I am honestly okay with that, now. One of the wonderful things about growing up, was choosing who I would let into my life, and how much contact I would have with them. I am fortunate enough that I have managed to form some close friendships with a few people. There is nothing like knowing that someone truly loves, embraces, and accepts you for who you are.